Boredom
Friend or Foe?
When you pay attention to boredom it gets unbelievably interesting. - Jon Kabat-Zinn
We live in a rapidly changing world, transforming before our eyes. We have instant access to more information, knowledge and choice than we can explore in a lifetime. Yet one of the great paradoxes of our time is that, at this pivotal moment, feelings of boredom are on the rise.
Boredom can seem benign but, in truth, it is a complex psychological and spiritual condition with significant ramifications. Humans have always experienced complex feelings of weariness, restlessness and a lack of interest in life. The Roman philosopher Seneca described this emotional state as “nausea”. Other words are “tedium”, “melancholia” or the French “ennui.”
The word boredom first appeared in popular culture in 1852, coined by Charles Dickens in his serial, Bleak House, to describe the condition of Lady Deadlock who is “bored to death”. She is locked in her life’s gilded cage longing for the man she loves and the daughter she lost. This tragic portrait of chronic boredom encompasses a profound and disturbing psychological state of fear and heartbreak.
Lady Deadlock is not alone. Literature is littered with characters for whom boredom becomes a matter of life and death. This results in catastrophic choices to escape boring lives like Madame Bovary and Anna Karenina. What these works of fiction explore is that boredom has a dark side, rooted in spiritual and emotional depression and anxiety.
It’s not all tragic for boredom has many faces. You might feel a bit indifferent but you're not distressed. You are not interested in life and your mind drifts. You feel restless, eager for change and stimulation. You feel trapped and desperate to escape. You feel hopeless and helpless.
Feelings of boredom are complex; understanding why you are bored and why is essential to your quality of life. Here’s where we run into today’s’ additional challenge. Constant access to instant gratification lures us with the false promise of relieving boredom. Just like junk food it leaves us continually empty and wanting more. This has become so habitual that the mere idea of disconnecting from media to connect to our own thoughts and feelings, or a power greater than ourselves, is alien, even alarming.
A research team led by Social Psychologist Timothy Wilson published findings in Science Magazine (July 2014)¹ shows many people would rather self administer electric shocks than sit in silence for 6 to 15 minutes.
This disconnect with what we think and feel accounts for much of the rise in boredom. As explored in my recent article, Limited Resources?² you are your greatest resource, understanding yourself is your greatest challenge. Disconnect from the chatter and step into your elegant space to connect with yourself - the only way to understand your boredom and your reaction. Your aim is to create more space between what you experience and how you react, This transforms you from reaction, impulsivity and being hostage to events. Making conscious, positive choices can significantly improve your life.
We all get bored sometimes but how we respond matters significantly. As Jon Kabat-Zinn says, “When you pay attention to boredom, it gets unbelievably interesting.” Boredom can be harmful leading to depression, anxiety and harmful behaviors like addiction and antisocial actions. But it is highly beneficial when used creatively to inspire us to find interesting, constructive and innovative things.
I share this piece of wisdom (which has been of great help to me) if you grapple with boredom. You have been granted the gift of life; there is a reason you are here now, even though you may never fully comprehend it, The moment you are living now as you read this, will NEVER come again.
Along with life comes the sacred gift of free will. You can use it to make a positive choice with every breath and every step. With positive choices, boredom will diminish for you open your life to receive the miracles of synchronicity, connectione and collaboration.
This is it. This is now. This is what you have. Don’t squander it. Boredom can be your friend or your foe – creative or destructive - the choice is yours.