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Last Goodbye


By now, you know my Toy Poodle, Whisper.

Aged 16 years old, chronically infirm with little mobility, blind, almost deaf, my constant companion. Once again she proved to be my teacher at the end of her life and in her death.

Over one weekend (my dogs illnesses mostly appear on the weekend) Whisper became sick with tummy issues, the usual, diarrhea and vomiting. I took her to the emergency room of the Animal Medical Center where, once again, they counseled me to leave her there. My intuition said no, I can take care of her at home.

So home we went with medication and feeding instructions. Over the next few days her health improved although she was basically bedridden. I carried her everywhere and she ate her bland diet on my lap. I felt positive and relieved.

Sunday evening, on the advise of a friend, I had an energetic conversation with Whisper. I let her know I had been willing her good health throughout the past year. I wanted to make it clear that her life was her decision. My new role was to support her. Her life and death were in her control.

I knew Whisper had been in pain for a long time in spite of the supplements, medications and acupuncture. Her arthritis made her uncomfortable and, in spite of my best efforts, she felt stiff and sore. The obvious and most difficult thing about animals is that they cannot speak to us. Poodles are extremely stoic so I really had no way of knowing the extent of her discomfort.

Monday morning I put Whisper on the papers to pee and all four legs went out from under her. She could not even stand. I held her and we muddled through the experience but the message was clear. She was ready to leave.

I have an amazing animal communicator with whom I have worked for many years. I trust her completely and sent her SOS texts and emails; could we speak? We connected Tuesday morning. Dawn confirmed that Whisper was ready to depart. Her comfort level was difficult and she felt this was the time. I was amazed at my Poodle’s clarity. Her decision was without emotion or drama. She had no fear.

The next day, I put her down.

I want to share our experience for, in its unique way, it was beautiful and mirrored both my knowledge of and the character of Whisper.

She spent our hour long car ride snuggled in my lap as I drove. to the clinic. She lay there as we waited in the car. And then again as we sat on the sofa together. This was unusual for she often stayed with me for a time and moved on. There was a closeness and a peace.

Gathered in a small room at the veterinary office, we were the veterinarian, a vet technician and a dear friend. I said I wanted to have a short spiritual service but hadn't planned anything. Without hesitation the moment unfolded. The technician shared Reike energy and a blessing. Karin, a Mary Magdalene practitioner, channeled that loving energy. Dr Seo, after checking that we believed in Jesus, said a prayer of thanksgiving. We each gave great thanks and gratitude for Whisper’s life. The room was filled with love and gratitude as Whisper left her body.

I am sure we all have lost and grieved a pet so you know the pain. It still makes me cry to remember the moment and to feel the loss. There is a hole in my heart. I miss my constant companion.

That said, I know there will come a time when I will remember only the love, the teaching and our special relationship. Thank you Whisper.