Resilience

How to Measure Your Strength

The way you grow is constant reflection. - John Divine “G” Whitfield | Oscar-Nominated Screenwriter Sing Sing
 
In 2011 I produced a play at Woodbourne Correctional Facility, a high-security men’s prison in the Catskills. The production was part of Rehabilitation Through the Arts, a non-profit organization dedicated to helping imprisoned individuals develop essential life skills through the arts with a focus on human dignity in the justice system. It was here that I first met John Divine “G” Whitfield, a founding member of RTA.
 
I vividly remember this first encounter with Divine because the last thing I expected in such a hardcore environment was to discuss Shakespeare’s Macbeth. I soon discovered that Divine was wrongfully incarcerated for a crime he did not commit and was nearing the end of a twenty-five-year sentence, much served in Sing Sing. During this time he gained a bachelor’s and a master’s degree, published books on Amazon and studied the law extensively.
 
How did this extraordinary man rise above the tragic miscarriage of justice that ripped his young life to shreds, destroyed his hopes and dreams, with such courage and grace? How could he withstand, recover and adapt to the unthinkable – a life behind iron bars? What differentiates those with resilience and those who succumb to anger and despair?
 
In this series Keeping Your Sanity, the topic of resilience arises repeatedly for, as each day passes, it becomes clear that we need all the fortitude we can muster to keep our sanity and navigate the chaos and injustice.
 
But how do we know if we can safely rely on ourselves to be resilient under pressure? One effective way is to observe how easy (or hard) it is to shake our equilibrium and how readily we get back on our feet.
 
Consider how fragile our equilibrium can be - so fragile that one negative comment can influence a lifetime. To grasp this fact’s magnitude list five remarks that negatively affected you, that you have never forgotten. What did you do as a result? Did you immediately shake it off? Did you change your behavior? Did you stop pursuing a dream? Did you make peace with it? Does it still haunt you today?
 
Beyond the obvious practical and emotional challenges like losing a loved one, a job, a home, money, or freedom as in the case of Divine, there are additional, more subtle and insidious ways that challenge resilience. 
 
You may forgo a dream or go with the consensus (knowing it’s a negative choice for you) because of FOPO (fear of others’ opinion): What will they say? Will I be criticized, snubbed or ridiculed.
 
You may stay in a toxic relationship, fearing change for the devil you know feels safer than the devil you don’t.
 
You may find the victim role helps control others, gain attention and provides an excuse for not taking self responsibility.
 
You may prefer to remain stuck for you may not want to risk failure, disappointment or hurt.
 
Being resilient is the key to a healthy and productive life. Strengthening resilience is a powerful choice only you can make. Here’s what I learned from Divine:
 
Resilience comes solely from within; you cannot be resilient without a strong sense of who you are and for what you stand. Cultivating self-esteem through personal growth and development is key. Divine describes it this way: “The way you grow is constant reflection.”
 
You need purpose—something that inspires and motivates, something larger that transcends your circumstances. Divine describes himself as a “natural-born helper.” In prison he used his intellect, knowledge and empathy to advocate for others.
 
Understand that actions have consequences. A white Rolls-Royce appeared at Divine’s door a few days after his release. Out stepped a man Divine had mentored as a vulnerable kid in Brooklyn before his conviction. Twenty-five years later, now the tour manager for the rap star Lil Wayne, he had never forgotten Divine and invited him to join the world tour. As Divine says, “What you put out, comes back many times.”
 
Understand your strengths; we all have unique talents. Use those within the zone of influence to strengthen your resilience. Divine used his performing arts background to create the RTA program and here’s the consequence: less than three percent of RTA members return to prison, compared to the national recidivism rate of sixty percent.  
 
If you ever doubt the power of resilience to improve lives, consider this: Divine was released on parole in 2012. As he works with his lawyer for his own exoneration, they also advocate for others wrongfully incarcerated. During the last twelve years he has toured the world with a rap star, been nominated for an Oscar for the screenplay Sing Sing, walked the red carpet with Ralph Fiennes and his latest documentary film will screen at the Cannes International Film Festival.

Resilience is a powerful force with far-reaching consequences for us and for our world – be sure to nurture yours.